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495. Unfriended - Dark Web; movie review

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Title : 495. Unfriended - Dark Web; movie review
link : 495. Unfriended - Dark Web; movie review

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Cert 15
93 mins
BBFC advice: Contains strong language, threat, violence

Of all of the very many lamentable sequels, franchises and remakes in 2018, it really does take a truly abysmal movie to be the worst of the lot.
Step forward, the makers of Unfriended: Dark Web - a film which is so reprehensible it almost defies description.
I have to say the portents were not good - after all, I awarded its predecessor, Unfriended, just 1/10 when it aired three years ago.
At that time, I wrote: "Its Skype style gave me a headache. I feel sorry for teenagers if they are attracted to it. I struggle to see why they would be."
Well, I can only gather that there are enough sad people out there to give this sequel a lift from a $1m budget to a box office reap of $11.2m.
Yes, my friends, money leads to money so I have no doubt a third episode will be on its way. Oh, joy.
This particular heap of junk stars Colin Woodell as a young man who has 'acquired' a computer which has been left at the restauant at which he works.
He is Skyping his girlfriend (Stephanie Nogueras) and then his friends when angry messages begin to appear on screen.
At first, they are focused on accusations about him stealing the computer but they progressively become more aggressive.
Because this is a follow up to Unfriended, it is pretty clear that everyone who is associated with the central figure is under threat.
Actually, they are going to die. This is not a spoiler. In Unfriended everyone died - therefore, I had worked out the ending of this sequel within the first two minutes.
Indeed, the only remote interest is how it arrives at the massacre of the innocents by an unseen killer.
As before, that is achieved through jiggery-pokery on a computer which is laughably far-fetched.
Stephen Susco's film demanded that I look at a computer screen being moved about for 90 minutes and people making crass decision after crass decision (I tell you what I will do when my life is under threat - I will stand at the side of the metro line or sit on my bike in the middle of the road).
It is stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid and a clear challenger for worst film of the year.

Reasons to watch: If you are into cheap shocks
Reasons to avoid: Who wants to spend 90 minutes looking at other people's computer screens?

Laughs: None
Jumps: One
Vomit: None
Nudity: None
Overall rating: 1/10

Director quote - Stephen Susco: "I was impressed how the first movie found new ways to tell a story—how a mouse could convey the emotional state of a character you don’t even see on screen—just by watching the cursor from their vantage point. In Dark Web, you know right away that whoever’s using this computer isn’t its rightful owner, without meeting or seeing anyone."

The big question - Why?

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