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140. Godzilla vs.Kong; movie review

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Title : 140. Godzilla vs.Kong; movie review
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Cert 12A
133 mins
BBFC advice: Contains moderate fantasy violence, threat

In 2019, I condemned Godzilla King Of The Monsters as being "big, brash, utterly charmless" and one of the worst films of the year.
Two years previously I wrote of Kong: Skull Island: "I was not persuaded that Mrs W had made a duff decision by giving it a miss and nor had its makers convinced me that there had been a need for another Kong film at all."
Therefore, it wouldn't be hard to predict my verdict on Godzilla vs Kong but even I hadn't prepared myself for just how bad it is.
I stumped up £15.99 for my premium access on Virgin Movies and Mrs W surprisingly agreed to join me in watching the battle of the giant monsters.
It didn't take long before we realised the scale of the awfulness of Adam Wingard's picture.
Godzilla escapes from captivity and lays waste with fiery breath to much of America's populated west coast.
But, we should apparently, forgive him for killing tens of thousands of people and smashing cities to smithereens because he has been provoked by greedy scientists.
Anyway, the only plan to counter this swathe of destruction is to release Kong from his controlled environment on Skull Island.
For reasons I couldn't understand - the key to stopping Godzilla lies in Hollow Earth, the birthplace of the Titans.
Thus, the head (Demián Bichir) of the company which had been holding Godzilla hires a specialist geologist (Alexander Skarsgård) to lure Kong there.
To do this, he needs the help of Kong's minder (Rebecca Hall) and her adoptive daughter (Kaylee Hottle) who has created a bond with the huge gorllia.
This is hard enough to comprehend but running in parallel to that storyline is that of the conspiracy theorist (Brian Tyree Henry), the daughter (Millie Bobby Brown) of an animal behavioural specialst (Kyle Chandler) and her geeky pal (Julian Dennison).
What they are doing is a bit bewildering as is their ability to charge around the world at what seems to be the speed of light.
Anyway, we know it will end with another ferocious fight in which hundreds of buildings are destroyed but no matter the carnage, there will be a happy ending. Or so it has been since 1933.
Yep, not only is this a giant mess of a movie but its ending is predictable.
Astonishingly, it is the first box office cinema success in America this year, breaking through the pandemic barrier.
Far be it from me to question their taste but the only thing to recommend this is that it is loud.

Reasons to watch: If you have never seen a Kong or Godzilla movie
Reasons to avoid: So many reasons

Laughs: None
Jumps: None
Vomit: None
Nudity: None
Overall rating: 1.5/10

Did you know? In 1933, the first King Kong movie used stop-motion effects provided by the great Willis O’Brien. After some other projects fell through, O’Brien wrote a treatment for a new sequel he called King Kong vs. Frankenstein. Producer John Beck agreed to see if anyone was interested in buying the script. Ultimately, he sold it to Japan’s Toho Studios—without telling O’Brien. Toho decided to replace the Franken-beast with their own original character: Godzilla.

The final word. Adam Wingard: "The origins of me wanting to be a filmmaker were in trying to make big Hollywood spectacle sci-fi films. That’s the movies that inspired me to make movies, the ‘Star Wars films, the ‘Alien’ movies. I can’t wait to use the potential power that this might buy me so that I can go back and make smaller movies that I have even more control over.” Indie Wire

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